Chapter 4: The Court-Ordered Evaluation.
I suddenly felt someone pulling the blanket off my legs. I was scared and confused, I was not sure where I was. I tried to sit up fast but I was held down by something. At this point the person pulling on the blanket jumped back and pointed a small flash light towards my face, and said "You scared the heavens out of me. Calm down Mr. Murphy; I am just checking your catheter bag."
I was still a little disoriented and scared, I ask "Where am I?"
The nurse said that I was in the state hospital, and with that I calmed down and felt safe again. The shots to my mouth were still working, which was good because being waken from such a deep sleep I did not remember where I was and I surely would have not remembered to talk with my retarded voice. The other the funny thing was that once I was told I was in the State hospital I felt safe, most people would have been terrified. This must be the night nurse I thought. She said "Ok honey" (I bet she called every body honey) "I changed your bag so go back to sleep."
I try to said thank you and fell back in to a deep sleep.
I was woken up by the overhead lights coming on and a nurse (I think the one that change my catheter bag in the night) said time to wake up Mr. Murphy. She walked over to my bed and checked my bag and my disposable diaper. "Good, nothing to change." She said "My name is nurse Ann" as she turned the handle on the foot of the hospital bed, moving me more into a sitting position.
She was older about 50 or so, with a kind smile. "I will be feeding you this morning Mr. Murphy, are you hungry?"
I shook my head yes. I watched her being in a tray with what looked like a milk shake and a glass of water.
"On your chart the Doctor has you on a liquid diet, said something about choking on solid food last night." I thought to myself those girls are up to their tricks again. But I was glad to get any nourishment right now. It was last night before the drive to Kelly’s house when I had eaten last. She placed the straw to my mouth and I drank the shake, it tasted good. After I was done, Ann asked me if I would like another shake. I said "Yes mama." She bought another shake and I gulp it down.
"Well," she said as she took a wash cloth and wiped my face off, "you look like you are doing much better today than your chart say you were last night." I couldn’t decide if she was one of Kelly’s friends in on the deception, or just a very nice and caring nurse.
However I could not be sure so I kept up my act as the confused mental patient. I asked "How long have I been here?"
Ann said "They brought you in last night. Well I have other patients to check on, I will be back to look in on you the later."
I spent some time testing my bonds. After a few minutes I realized that I was not going to be going anywhere. So I just set there and thought about what my first full day as a mental patient was going to be like.
I did not have to wait long, just then the door on my cell started opening up. Nurse Sally and Doctor Amanda walk in and said "Good morning Mr. Murphy, did we sleep well?"
I said "Yes, but only after the voices stopped talking to me."
Amanda looked a little confused at first, but then got the joke and smiled, "well maybe you really are crazy Mr. Murphy. However Mr. Murphy we have a full day of testing for you to find that out. Are you ready?"
I said "Yes!"
"Ok then, Nurse Sally go get Mr. Murphy a set of red scrubs. You see red indicates high risk patients, this alerts the other staff who they are dealing with." Sally quickly returned with the garments.
I was release from the bed and told to remove my suicide watch gown. I was then dressed in the red scrubs. Sally produced a leather transport belt, and four leather cuffs. They placed the cuffs and belt on me and hooked a short leather strap to the restraints on my arms going through the D ring on my belt. They connected my feet together with another strap. I could move my hands a little more than last night, and I could walk but not very fast. "Ok Mr. Murphy we are going to give you a little more freedom today but if you act out we will be putting you back in much stricter restraints."
I said "I’ll be good I promise Dr. Smith."
"You bet you will," she said with an evil smile. Sally rolled up a more normal looking wheelchair, however it did have a lockable seat belt. I was guided into the chair and was belted in. We were off rolling down the halls. Amanda told Sally she had to go to her office to get some papers and she would meet us at the Behavioral Assessment ward.
Sally pushed me down the long halls with twists and turns, the hospital seemed like a big maze. The Hospital was a buzz with activity, staff running back and forth, and the patients. Some of the patients walked around talking to themselves. Other just stood in the wards looking at the walls. We came to a nurse station and Sally asked the nurse at the desk if she would watch her patient (me) while she ran to the restroom. The desk nurse asks if I would cause trouble refering to my red uniform, she told her not to worry I was sedated. The desk nurse said "Ok, but don’t be too long."
It is very strange to be talked about, but not be talked too and left with someone to watch like package, oh well, I wanted to know what it was like to be a mental patient. Sally patted me on the head and said "Don’t go anywhere" then locked the wheels on the wheelchair.
In just a minute after she walked out sight, and all hell broke lose. Alarm bells rang and all the staff and a two cops go running down the hall. The nurse that said she would watch me had run off too.
I was feeling very vulnerable like this, I thought just try not to draw any attention to myself, and it didn’t work. A patient walked up to me from down the hall and said "You must be new I haven’t seen you before", He sound about as dumb as my chart said I was.
I just gave him my best try at the lights are on but no one is home look. He was not a big man, in fact he was pretty small but walked like was the cock of the ward. "You must be a bad guy, you’re in a red outfit. I don’t think you look so tuff to me" and with that he popped me in the face. I was a little shocked, I was at a disadvantaged, due to the fact I was locked in a wheel chair and in full restraints. I looked at him with the most hateful look I could give and growled at him. He laughed and hit me again. Thanks goodness Sally came out of the rest room and saw what was going on. She came running and called out for an orderly for assistants. When they got to me they both grabbed the other patient and put him against the wall. Sally asked the orderly to take care of him, and she need to get me over to Clinical testing.
Sally pushed my wheel chair down the long corridor and said "Sorry about that Mr. Murphy" and that she would not let me alone again.
I said I was ok and if that was the worst thing that happens to me I'll be doing good.
She said that I was right with a laugh that did not make me feel very good. As we rolled down the corridor the walls were painted with beautiful murals. I asked Sally who had painted the walls, it was a master peace. She laughter, she told me that the patients did in the 1930’s and I said wow. Sally said they were crazy, but they were great artist. We roll into a wing of the building that said Psychological Evaluation Lab. I was pushed in a room and told that the Doctor would be in soon to start my testing, Sally then locked the wheels of my wheel chair and said "Don’t go any where" with a smile. As she left, she lock the door behind her.
I looked around the room and it was just a bare room with a desk with a chair and a table. I thought how different my life is since yesterday, I have lost all say in my life, just like a real patient. Just as I was evaluating my situation, Dr Amanda walked in and asked how I was doing this morning?
I said good, but I was not happy about the liquid diet. Amanda said "Sorry but in your condition, Mr. Murphy you will be on it for your entire stay with us, now down to work." She pulled out a big folder, then she started to tell me that I was going to be taking the standard 500 question test the all patients take. "Now answer the best you can, I really wanted to test you so I can use it for my study that I am working on, don’t worry I have a test already competed that I will put in your file. It was done by a patient who is a paranoid schizophrenic, so it will look right. Since we can’t unlock you, I will read you the questions and you will say the answer. Ok?"
I said yes.
It took over 3 hours to complete, and during the test I was giving water and a nurse came in to check my catheter bag. I was tired but Amanda was very happy with my test, she kept saying this is going to be perfect. Dr Amanda said Nurse Sally would be back in a few minutes to take me to my next appointment.
Soon Sally was wheeling me to hydrotherapy. We arrived at the hydrotherapy area and I was quickly taken by three other nurses, stripped and placed in a nice warm hydrotherapy tub.
I was feeling pretty rested after my bath. Sally said a had a few more hours of testing ahead of me, so we there off again back to the evaluation lab, this time I was rolled into room with a large TV screen and a lot of testing equipment. I was rolled in front of the TV and Sally started taping wires all over me. I ask what it was for and Sally said the Dr would tell me. I also ask about Kelly, Sally told me that patients could not ask or be told the location of hospital employees. She then said Kelly was going to be working tonight, and she had a surprise for me.
Dr Smith walked in and said she was very happy with my test scores, and that I would make a great subject.
I ask "subject for what?" My voice still suffering from the effects of the drugs Amanda had prescribed for me last night.
She smiled and said "As Kelly told you we have a few tests and treatments we want to do on a normal person and see how they react and well, you are the test subject."
"The experiments won’t hurt will they?" I asked.
"No, it shouldn’t" she said.
I must say that was not as positive an answer as I wanted to hear. But I must remind myself that I am just a mental patient in a psychological hospital, I have no choices. I said to Amanda that doctor knows best, she smiled very brightly, and then when back to work setting up the next test. Dr Smith said that this test would show how I react to visual input, she said it basically will tell us what turns you on.
I said "Everything?"
Amanda said "Everything!"
I was not sure I wanted my deepest turn-on’s exposed to others, but it was part of my treatment. Dr Smith turned the lights off and started a video tape that flashed images on the screen, women, men, and everything you can think of. The instruments were recording my every reaction. After about three hours of videos, it was over. I felt very frustrated and wished for some release. But is not to be, Amanda said she was going to take the data and process it in her office and she would send someone to take me back to my room. Amanda left the room and locked the door behind her.
I heard the door being unlocked and pushed open, then a voice I had not heard before calling "Mr. Murphy". About this time a young female psych tech came into my view, along with her was an older police officer, a male. Well it’s time to go into my patient act. I started asking them where was I, who I was, and started acting paranoid. I as the psych tech started pushing me back to my room, I started acting withdrawn. Once again it was interesting having people talking about you while your there.
The Psych tech was telling the cop about me from reading my file, it was pretty entertaining to me. I was again excited that I was in a maximum security mental institution with people thinking I was really a patient, to bad that when I get out the only person I would be able to talk to it about will be Kelly. Maybe I could write a book about my experience, but one week-end would not be enough time, well I’ll have to think about that for awhile, a longer stay down the road? Well as we rolled down the halls of the hospital I looked at all of the patients, techs, nurses, and doctors walking here and there, I was having a great time.
As we came back to the locked ward, I thought how heavy the air seemed there. The cop opened the door of I-13, my cell and the psych tech pushed me in the room, it felt good to be home I thought to myself. I was promptly released from the wheelchair and moved to my bed. As I was being strapped down, I started resisting a little just to give them the idea that I did not want to be here, which was furthest thing from my mind! After the psych tech locked me down, she asked if I was hungry I said "yes-um", and she smiled.
She cranked up my bed and walked out of the room with the cop in tow, and locking the door behind them. A few minutes later she returned alone with another milk shake type drink. I said (with my still slurred voice) "I want real food."
The psych tech said "Doctor’s orders", and with that pushed the straw in my mouth. After feeding me she checked my catheter bag, and picket up my chart on the end of the bed and wrote some notes, as she was doing this I asked her why am I here. She wrote more notes and said you’re here to get well Mr. Murphy, and she left the room, closing door and the lock snapping shut.
I knew for sure the girls were letting people take care of me who knew nothing about me not being a real patient! I thought this is so cool, I was passing as a mentally challenged patient. I start wondering were Kelly was? She was supposed to be coming to see me to night. Well I just lay there (what else could I do in 5 point bed restraints) and decided to try and get some sleep.
Chapter 5: The night of the walking patient
I was awakened be the sudden noise of the lock of my door being opened. As the door swung open a flash light was pointed in my face. This must be the night nurse checking in on me I thought, so trying to keep my act up to par I started pulling against me restraints and moaned. Kelly’s voice come out of the darkest and said in a sweet voice, "What’s wrong Mr. Murphy? Are we not happy with our accommodations?"
Then she closed the door and laughed out loud. "You look as sung as a bug in a rug and you look like your enjoying it very much."
I said that I was, but before I finished the words, I realized that my voice was back to normal. I asked what time was it?
"Wow" I said "The shots wore off in 24 hours just like you said."
"Yes Mr. Murphy, we never lie to our patients", she said with a big smile. "I see by your chart that you been doing a little acting, that’s good. Remember to use the information I gave you last week about Paranoid Schizophrenia when doing your acting.
I said "Yes I will, I read over all the information very carefully."
"Good!" Kelly said. "Well are you ready to take a tour of the hospital?"
"Yes, but how will we do that tonight this late?"
"Well Mr. Murphy we are going to dress you up as a night repairmen, and all repairman have to have a police escort, like me."
"How will we get out of the locked ward without being seen and what if the night nurse comes to check on me and I am not here?"
"Don’t worry the night nurse for tonight is on our team, so no one will be looking for you. Now let me release you and get you dressed in the repairman’s outfit. Oh but before I release you, let me remove your catheter, now we can’t have our repairman walking around wearing a catheter bag now can we", Kelly smiled. She quickly removed the catheter with very little pain. In no time I was dress as a state repairman and Kelly had brought a fake mustache for me to wear, she thinks of everything. As we left my cell we ran into the night nurse Patti. She said to Kelly "Make sure you bring Mr. Murphy back before morning roll call." They both laughed. Patti said "Have fun you two."
Kelly took me for the grand tour of the hospital, through the wards, therapy rooms, and up to the watch tower. We moved back into the heart of the hospital and down into the underground utilities tunnels that run between all of the buildings. I said "It was dark and eerie"
Kelly say "You think this is, I’ll take you to see dark and eerie, come with me!" Kelly grabbed me and we took off first back to the ground level and then Kelly told me we were heading in to the oldest section of the hospital, now it is mostly used for offices and storage.
We walked through rolls of desk, boxes and just pain junk. As we all pass this we came to a big iron door, Kelly pulled out a key out of the tool belt she had gave me to wear. It was big and old. The door opened with a creaking sound, Kelly said "No one comes down here any more unless they have too." The door opened to a set of narrow stairs that went down at least 25 feet. As I started to walk down the stairs, Kelly locked the door behind us.
She said "We don’t want any uninvited guessed now do we", with an evil look in her eye. "This is the oldest part of the hospital, built to hold the uncontrollable patients. Now adays we just drug them, but back in old days they would just put them down here in what they called the pit, so they could yell as loud as they wanted too and no one in the rest of the hospital could hear them."
When we got to the bottom of the stairs the hall stretched out in front of us with about what looked like 50 prison cells. We walked down the hall till Kelly said "This one looks good for you", and opened the door to the cell, then grabbed me and directed me into it. She then turned around and closed the cell door with us both in the cell and locked it. The old door was thick metal with a small peek hole to see the patient and a little door to place food into the cell.
I ask "What do you have in mind Kelly?"
"ooh nothing much, just a little fooling around with the patient", and with that she turned to the shelf on the wall and lit a couple of candles.
She turned back to me and said "I cleaned the bed and the room last week, just for us." She then removed her ball cap and let her dark long thick hair drop down, she shook her head and then ran her hand through her hair. She said to me "I’ve been wanting you so bad these last two days, my little patient. And now it’s you and me in a room where no one will hear us scream." We then started tearing the clothes off of each other, failing in to the bed and started making love, wild love!
After our first round of love making we were laying in the cot and I noticed that the wall had a D ring attached to it over the cot. I was big enough to pass chain or say handcuffs through it, this gave me an idea. I got up and picked up Kelly’s cop belt, the one with her radio, billy club, pepper spay, and of course her handcuffs.
I pulled out her cuffs and set down on the cot next to her, before Kelly could say anything I snapped the hand cuff on one of her arms she started to pull back to flight, but I said "Trust me" and she relaxed her hands. I next ran the other side of the cuff through the D-ring on the wall, and placed her other hand in it and locked it. I said "Well officer Kelly I think you may be in trouble, deep in the catacombs of a mental institution locked in a cell, chained to the wall with a delusional developmentally disabled crazy man! I’d say you’re in a bad spot!" I laughed in my most comic strip laugh.
Kelly looked at me and say "I am very scared" in a bad movie voice and laughed. She then said "are you going to stare at me all night or ravage me, come on baby take me", and we started around two. Once again we lay on the cot, Kelly’s hand still cuffed to the wall.
I asked Kelly what she was thinking about and she said that she was surprised how much she liked being restrained during love making. I said "Well next weekend at home and we can do some experimenting."
She smiled and said great but now Mr. Murphy release me and I will not make a report on your bad behavior."
I say okay dokey.
She laughed! I took off the cuffs, she grabed me by the neck and gave me a great big kiss! Then she said "We've got to get going, we have to get you back into your room before the morning rounds."
We both dressed, and started the trek out of the pit and back into the world of the living. As we walked down the long halls Kelly’s radio blared to life. The Officer on the other end said that Kelly needed to report to the watch commander’s office ASAP. Kelly said crap, I can’t take you with me and I can let you walk around on your own. A smile came across her face and she said, "We’re near the morgue", she gabbed my arm and said "follow me". We ran down the hall to the door that said Morgue. Kelly unlocked the door and said "come on hurry".
We ran inside the room, Kelly went to a cabinet and pulled out a big black bag and ran to a wall of draws. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the drawer and pulled it out and laid out the bag. Then I knew what it was, it’s a body bag!
"I said I can’t get in there that's for dead bodies."
"Look, it’s all clean, and if you don’t we will all be in trouble!" She added "Trust me!"
I said "Oh my god", and lay down in the drawer and slipped in to the bag.
Kelly zipped it up to my head said to me "I’ll be back for you as soon as I can", she gave me a kiss and finished zipping up the bag, and pushed the drawer closed and locked it. I lay there in the drawer and wondered what was going to happen next, was Kelly going to be sent to another area in the hospital, and was she in trouble, was she fired?
All of these fears went through my head. I was thinking how long would I be in here? I seemed like hours but I had no way of knowing how much time had passed, I heard the key being pushed in to the lock and the drawer being pulled out. I just lay still playing dead so to speak, not knowing who was opening the morgue drawer. A pair of hands grabbed the body bag and quickly started unzipping it, I was laid there, not breathing. The hands grabbed my face and I heard Kelly’s voice sayings Brian are you ok?
I could not stop myself, I said "BOO" then open my eyes to see Kelly looking a little pissed off. I said "You look mad."
Kelly said "You scared the hell out of me."
"You? I am the one in the morgue drawer."
I asked if everything was ok?
Kelly said yes that the watch commander needed her to double check a report about another patients who was in a fight. "Now I must get you back to your room Mr. Murphy."
I climbed out of the drawer and we where off to the Isolation ward and my room. As we walked in the hall go to my room, Patti came running up and said we were cutting it close and she had been getting worried.
Kelly said she would explain later, but right now we need to get Mr. Murphy hooked back up to his catheter bag and back into his bed restraints. Kelly said to me to strip, and I said excuse me but Patti is still in the room.
Kelly said "She’s a nurse and we have no time, strip!"
I did as I was told, after I took all my clothes off Kelly replaced the catheter tube and hooked the bag back up, strapped the bag to my leg, pulled up my disposable diaper, Patti dressed me in the suicide watch gown. The next thing I know I am on my bed in Bed Restraints and all locked down.
Patti pulled out a hypo and said "Open wide", I did and Patti gave me shots in the mouth for my voice and then one in the arm. She said the Doctor wanted me to get some rest before they started my treatment today so she prescribed 2cc of ativan. After she was done, they both checked over the room and me to make sure that all was in order.
Kelly said "Mr. Murphy I must leave you now, Patti will get you some breakfast and you need to get some rest before Amanda starts your treatment today."
I ask what was the treatment going to be?
Kelly said with an evil smile "that’s a surprise. I’ll see you tonight or maybe tomorrow morning depending on how well your treatment goes."
Kelly would say no more and kissed me and left the room. Patti said she would be back with my breakfast shake. I now wondered what was in store for me with my up coming treatment.